at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
