Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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