It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
