mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
