You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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