You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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