I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
