I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
