dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There are leaves in my underwear?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
