Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
