Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
