I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
