I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i now understand why vodka
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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