Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
