Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
