i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
