just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
this is an emotional support booty call
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
