do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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