You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
