I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
