WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just google imaged poop.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
