is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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