So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
