i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
