It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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