Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
