You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
