wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
