fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
