I must be too annoying 4 u.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
