none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
