Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
