I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
