His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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