I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
