Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
