A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just want nice things and good sex
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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