You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
