I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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