I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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