what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
