Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You are a genius and a whore.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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