I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
