How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
