just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
