i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
