So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
