C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i now understand why vodka
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
