You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
