you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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