its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
