My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
