we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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