ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
