i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃ðŸ»ðŸŽ‰
We are so blessed
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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