this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
